When Jill and Becca reached out to me about their Garvan’s Gastropub Wedding in New Paltz, NY, I was excited because I do love a chance to get ‘back home’ to photograph weddings. I grew up in the Hudson Valley and so I love to get back to the area. They had a whole wedding weekend planned really taking advantage of their AirBNB, Grateful Woods. They brought their pup Pierogi for the weekend and that was such a treat!
Usually, I don’t overload my wedding blogs with too many words (although SEO would encourage me to use word salad to rank higher, hah), but I had some thoughts that were provoked by a question Jill and Becca asked me and I felt I wanted to express them here because I own this spot on the internet so I’ll do what I want.
On the way from Grateful Woods to Garvan’s Gastropub, Jill and Becca rode in the car with me. At some point they asked me a question that was something to the effect of whether getting a same sex wedding was like a big deal for a photographer as some other photographer had said it was. I thought for a second and I was like, “not really… it’s really just another wedding.” Now, I didn’t mean that as if their wedding didn’t matter, but what I meant was something that I realized was bigger as I had time to really think on the question on my ride home after the weekend.
When I first photographed a same sex marriage celebration, it wasn’t even legal yet in New Jersey. I’ve photographed that couple for many years now since they had their two boys (you can check out a few of their sessions by clicking here, here and here). It was a bigger deal to me back then because it was something new. It was something I was happy to photograph more of and something I was happy to have in my portfolio to show other LGBTQIA+ couples that I supported them. When same sex marriage became legal in New Jersey and New York, I started to get a few more same sex weddings and it did feel like a bigger deal, but that also bothered me. It bothered me because I remember thinking, “When won’t this be a big deal anymore? When will I have a same sex wedding where there isn’t a close family member that is considering not attending because they aren’t in support of the marriage? When will I have enough work to show so that LGBTQIA+ couples won’t feel as though they have to ask if I photograph LGBTQIA+ weddings? When will this be just another wedding?”
Fast forward to 2023 and I’ve reached the point that LGBTQIA+ weddings are just another wedding to me. I don’t know exactly when it happened and that is the beautiful thing. It just happened. I see each of my weddings as their own story. Each couple is different and the dynamic they share coupled with the season, the location and their friends and family… each day is their own story. And what I do is capture love. Before the saying “love is love” got really big, I had been using it. I remember specifically using it on a wedding ten years ago while waiting in the buffet line and being approached by the father of one of the brides. I had known that he was struggling with the matter of his daughter’s marriage and he asked me if I had “ever photographed a wedding like this before?” Honestly, I wasn’t 100% sure what he meant because people have asked me that at other weddings and sometimes they are referring to the wild dance party or a kind of location. I asked him exactly what he meant and he uncomfortably said, “Well…you know… two women?” At that point, I hadn’t photographed as many same sex weddings, but I had photographed a few and I told him that I had. He asked me if it was different and I told him, “My job is to tell the story of their love and I will tell you one thing, love is love, there really is no difference” to which he replied, “I’m starting to realize that.”
Melt my heart.
Anyone that knows me probably knows I really don’t like social media. I don’t like what it has become. It’s a constant screaming match between everyone to get in front of your face and that is tiring. It’s not me, not my style to work that hard for attention. I like things to be more organic. Hashtags are a part of that screaming match. Since the beginning, I’ve had a hard time using hashtags that are LGBTQIA+ specific. It always felt like I was differentiating the weddings, that I was making them different by using the hashtags and I didn’t like that because my job is photographing love and I never wanted to be encouraging the idea that LGBTQIA+ love was any different. I’ve chosen to use some though because I realize that couples make use of them to search for supportive photographers or just to see couples like themselves represented, but in the end, I’m waiting for the day when using them doesn’t matter.
I loved that Jill and Becca asked me that question because it gave me pause and the realization that while everyone may not be where I am at, I’ve seen the change among the families and friends. It’s been a very long time since I heard a speech where someone noted that they never thought they’d attend one of ‘these’ weddings or apologized for not being accepting in the past. I’ve seen the move toward them being “just another wedding” and people seeing what I’ve seen all along… that love is love. It was a nice that Jill and Becca’s question allowed me some time to be able to take notice of the changes.
Now enough of my deep thoughts… let’s get to Jill and Becca’s wedding day!
We took this photo near the lily pond at Grateful Woods…
If you’ve been paying any attention to my blog or my Instagram, then you already know who this precious ball of fur is… Pierogi! Pierogi is super soft, super chill and chock full of personality! 
Grateful Woods has an awesome aesthetic and I wanted to work a little bit of that in where I could…
Jill takes some time to get Pierogi into his tux…
Becca was getting ready nearby in The Barn…
First look!
We headed over to Garvan’s Gastropub to take a few more photos…
The ketubah signing ahead of their outdoor Garvan’s Gastropub wedding ceremony…
Matching glitter nails…
Even before I had my own daughter, I loved little moments like this…
Laughter at the altar is always good for soothing any nerves… 
I’ve read of the many reasons for the circling seven times at the start of a Jewish wedding ceremony, but the one that stuck with me is that the number seven symbolizes completion and holiness within time and space in the Jewish faith…
A little fist bump for the ring bearer…
Mazel tov!
Love all the joy!
Jill and Becca enter their wedding reception at Garvan’s Gastropub…
The Hora is one of my favorite wedding traditions. It is chaotic and fast and so full of joy!
Cool kicks!
Can you feel the intensity?
Sometimes, amongst the chaos, you’ll catch a quiet moment… (well, I mean, if you hire a good photographer you might, haha)
Jill and Becca’s Garvan’s Gastropub wedding in New Paltz, New York was just one part of a fantastic weekend of celebration. Thanks to Jill, Becca, Pierogi and their friends and family for being awesome to work with. Thanks to Brandan Calhoun for making the hike up to assist me.
You can check out some of my other Hudson Valley weddings: Blooming Hill Farm, Saugerties Steamboat Co., Brotherhood Winery
You can check out more of my LGBTQIA+ weddings: The Gables Inn, Union Trust Ballroom, Grand Hotel Cape May, Rockaway River Country Club, Rock Island Lake Club, Asbury Park
